A Curious Dream

“`Oh, I've had such a curious dream!' said Alice, and she told her sister, as well as she could remember them, all these strange Adventures of hers that you have just been reading about...”

I am sitting in a hostel in Tbilisi, gorging on internet and hot showers, but not feeling the same gratifying sense of indulgence that I've felt every time before this, the dread of returning to the village after a great weekend no longer looming.

You see, this time, I rode to Tbilisi in silence, scrolling through the memories in my heart; melancholic, happy, and sad about the knowledge that this time there would be no marsh ride, precariously postponed until the very last possible moment of the Sunday evening, back to the village.

I said my goodbyes last week, tears shed, gifts exchanged, and heartfelt 'thank yous' delivered. I am ready to go home after much uncertainty, waffling, and reconsidering. I had a pretty good thing going here, despite how different it was from home. But alas, the recurring lesson is that all good things must come to an end.

I wonder if one day I will get tired of doing this, falling in love with a place and a time, only to uproot and do it all over again in a different place and time. I wonder if one day, I will come to a point where I have simply collected too many of these deeply personal experiences that I no longer will be able to share myself fully with others. Lot's of things, I wonder, but in the meantime, I am honestly excited for the next phase of life and the for the times when I will sit alone, smiling to myself as I remember my adventures, like a curious dream.

I'm Coming Home!!!

First, all the songs that I can think of that have to do with what comes next: Coming Home!!!

I wish I had written regarding this sooner, some of you might have had some helpful thoughts to contribute, but alas, as is my style, I procrastinated and am just now getting around to sharing my experience in deciding what comes next.

It was truly a difficult decision. Things were lining up for me here quite well: a new home with lovely accommodations closer to school, after school paid private lessons, familiarity with the area, and at last, Georgian friends and a boy to boot. The pros were enticing, but in the end it was the thought of all the people I love back home proved to be a greater pull on my heart. I'm coming home. And it's a good thing too because the program is being reduced and I probably wouldn't have been able to stay another 6 months anyway.

I'm nervous though. I don't have a job yet, or a place of my own to stay. I don't know where I'll be next, and I fear that those I left behind will have moved on without me. But I guess these are all concerns I'd have to deal with sooner or later anyway.

In the meantime, I'm excited to get reacquainted with my life. I can only imagine the reverse culture shock I'm going to feel – no longer will I be able to talk vulgar unabashedly without those around me understanding; “Ra Ginda, Gogo?!” will mean nothing anymore, and I won't have to plan my days around whether or not the water and power are running. I'll even have to start showering everyday again... weird.

And while I will deeply miss those that have marked my life here in Georgia (locals and westerners alike), I am revving and ready to go for the next challenge.